Welcome to the ThinWithin Results Podcast Show, episode #3

Today we're going to examine your fatter chatter with fresh eye so you can start losing weight.

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Please Enjoy the Show Transcripts:

Hi Everyone,  this is Marna of the Thin Within Results Podcast, and today I'm talking about examining your fatter chatter with fresh eyes so you can start losing weight. This is such an important topic because we all have these voices that tell us we should be looking better, we should be thinner, our tummy should be flatter, and it just goes on and on and on.

But here's the thing…

I want you to know where this fatter chatter comes from. Your inner dialogue that doesn't support you comes from three places:

(1) Your fatter chatter either comes from what you've heard, such as what you've heard or saw modeled to you.

If you had a mom or a dad who spoke negatively about their own bodies, then it's easy to pick up on that same language. If you had a sibling, who spoke negatively about her or his body, then that it was modeled to you.

(2) It's what others told you. Maybe you have a sibling who's just a few months older, and she or he would call you “fatty” or “you're so big” or “there is more of you to love” or, “are you sure you really want to put that in your mouth?”

(3) The other way that our fatter chatter begins, is that we begin taking on what the world gives us. In other words, we might watch a show or in the media, the women are beautiful. Then we start to say, “Oh, I should look like that” or “Oh my butt's too big” or “Oh my, I have cankles” or “Oh, I wish my stomach was flat” or “I should have bigger breasts”,  “I should have broader shoulders”,  or “I should be skinny.” All these phrases start to make up our internal dialogue.

And what I want you to hear is that we all have this internal dialogue, all of us.

The problem is  that you might be living into this internal dialogue. You might be self sabotaging yourself because  you begin to live into this internal dialogue. In other words, you see what you've heard as true. And if you see your internal dialogue as true, then what happens is weight loss becomes more complicated and more difficult. It becomes more challenging because you feel like you can't actually lose weight or you're just big boned or your way of being is big, or fat, or ugly, or genetically predisposed.

Right?

We have all these words and phrases that we start to collect over time about who we are. And then they become our fatter chatter inside of our heads.

So how do we start to repair this?
How do we start to change this in order to lose weight and feel better about yourself?

The answer is that you don't have to change your thoughts.

In order to lose weight, if you don't make some adjustments, then losing weight is going to be more difficult. It's  like learning to ride a bike and somebody's telling you the whole time you're learning to ride, that you can't do it, or you're gonna fall; you're gonna fall and you are going to increase the chances of living into falling.

It all doesn't really matter. It's somebody else's opinion. It's somebody else's thought. It's somebody else's bad  chatter that often is getting misguided and misdirected on to you. Is it not necessarily true. And so, one of the best ways that you can start shifting your internal dialogue with yourself, as well as your outer dialogue what you say to yourself, or what how you speak about yourself when you're speaking to somebody else about you, is to help your mind start supporting you.

Even after losing weight. I still have fatter chatter that comes up, it still pops in my head. The key is that I don't have to listen to that garbage. I don't have to listen to the crap. I don't have to be stuck in my fatter chatter. It doesn't have to overwhelm my actions.

When I was losing weight, it was a really important part of my experience in losing weight to not give into my fatter chatter like,  “You can't do it.”  “Marna you're not running fast enough.” or “You should work out harder.” or “You should do this better.”

All this better, harder, all perfectionistic type of thinking doesn't help.  If I would have listened to that nonsense, I would have stayed stuck. The key was for me to understand that I didn't have to own those words that part of my thinking was my modeling. It was what I had taken on which became my identity, and I didn't have to keep taking that on identity. I began use phrases like,  “Marna, thanks for sharing.” or  “That doesn't serve me, say something nicer.” or “That's not very kind.” or “Next.”

I didn't have to own my thoughts. I didn't have to own their power. I didn't have to live in to them or believe them.

Remember, your body's whole way of being is to keep you safe. It's the number one thing your body wants  – to keep you safe. And how does it keep us safe? It keeps us in the status quo. It wants you to stay right where you are, and not change a thing because it knows your life, it knows your body, and when you start to change your body, it disrupts your body's equilibrium and it goes, “Whoa, wait a second! You're fat! You can't do this. This is gonna be too hard. No no no don't do this. Come on, you're fat.”

You don't have to listen to those thoughts. You can tell yourself, “It's okay. I can do this. I know body that you're feeling threatened, I know you're uncomfortable with change. But this new change is going to make me happy. This new change is gonna help me slim down this new change is going to be better for me and my heart and my life.”

I really want to encourage you to examine your fatter chatter with fresh eyes so you can begin to see what you're actually saying to yourself and examine where those words are really coming from.

One of the exercises I love doing with my clients is that I have them get out a piece of paper, and on the left hand side of the page write all the phrases that you say to yourself and you can even write down where the phrase came from. Was this something you heard growing up or was it something somebody else told you, or did you take this on to mean something. This will allow you to see where your phrases come from. Then, on the very right hand side, you can write down what is it that you would like to believe instead. What phrases would serve you better? What phrase or way of thinking would serve you better, so that when you go to that place of saying something negative to yourself, you quickly have a new phrase to put in its place.

Now the question is, is this easy? No!

When you say, “I'm going to work out tomorrow” and you actually do it,  I don't care if it's five minutes or just walking into the gym,  you start to believe yourself and your word starts to matter in this area. There are so many other areas where your word matters; where you say you're going to do something and you do it. You say you're going to show up for a meeting, and you do it. You say you're going to show up for a coaching call with me, and you do it. You say you're going to show up for a training call with me, and you make it happen. You say you're going to show up every day to brush your teeth. 🙂

The key with moving through your fatter chatter so you can lose weight is not believing you're fatter chatter. Stop giving your words weight and literal energy to that fatter chatter.  The more you fight through that fatter chatter and create better words, then you will start moving in the direction that you desire. Then you will start saying, “I look amazing. My arms are toned and I feel fit and I feel strong, and I'm getting in better cardiovascular health, and I'm really feeling the difference in my energy, yada yada yada.” Then all of a sudden things start working and moving forward in a positive way, you start diminishing the fatter chatter.

Suddenly, you're doing great, something pops up, and you have another fatter chatter moment. And what's the key. The key is not listening to it. Let those thoughts go and ignite a new phrase.

Just because I'm thinner doesn't mean I don't have fatter chatter, doesn't mean my life is perfect. It means that I've just had a lot of practice moving through that fatter chatter, not listening to it.

I hope this helps you really step into your power and break free from your fatter chatter. If you need help, just head to ThinWithin.com and there are free resources that I have for you. You will see a free three part video series or you can take an assessment to see precisely why you're turning to food. I want to help support you ad if you go to the coaching tab and say, “Hey Marna. I really want to talk personally to you. I need your help.” and I can help coach you devise a plan and talk to you about how I can help you create a thinner, lighter you.

Alright everybody, be well, and I'll talk to you all soon.

Bye everyone.